The older you get, the more you start to see that not everything is black and white.

In fact, lots of things are grayer than ever. 😉

Thankfully, cultural expectations of beauty are following suit. There’s no longer just one “look” that people (especially women) are expected to adopt or work toward as we age. But there are still some challenges when it comes to aging in a world that often emphasizes the importance of youth and beauty above all else.

And while there are tons of articles about makeup tips and tricks for aging skin, fitness and other practical tips, there are far fewer articles about how to embrace your unique beauty — and how to age well while feeling your best.

So today, let’s focus on cultivating a mindset that supports you through the decades. Below, you’ll find an approach to aging that helps bring you ease, acceptance, and joy no matter which birthday you’re celebrating this year.

Aging beautifully starts with self-care

And when we say self-care, we don’t mean just slapping on a face mask and sinking into a bubble bath. (Though go ahead with your bad self. Throw some Epsom salts in there while you’re at it!)

Treating your face and body to little luxuries can absolutely be a wonderful way to unwind, but true self-care is an ongoing internal practice.

Use these questions to kickstart your reflection:

  • When was the last time I offered myself compassion?
  • When and how do I enforce the personal boundaries that protect my peace?
  • How can I bring more mindfulness to my day?

When you practice befriending yourself, calming your internal monologue and staying present in the moment, that practice literally becomes visible on your face — in a good way.

In fact, you probably notice the effects of these practices in others already! In one speed-dating study, women rated men displaying “dispositional mindfulness” as more attractive, regardless of measures of their physical attractiveness. (In English? When you seem present, you look hotter.)

In a world where “self-care” has become synonymous with “getting a manicure,” it’s important to remember that true self-care goes beyond surface-level indulgences. By prioritizing your internal well-being as you get older, you’ll cultivate confidence and ease that shows.

Allow yourself to prioritize joy

Along with the internal practices shared above, there’s another foolproof way to “keep yourself young” no matter your birth year…

Intentionally make time for the people, activities and experiences that bring you joy.

Think about it. Joy — aka immersive pleasure, gratitude and wonder at your current experience — is itself ageless. Joy looks the same on all faces, whether that face is 9 months or 99 years old.

So along with beginning (or deepening) your self-care practices, don’t overlook the importance of spending time doing the things that fill your cup.

Go ahead and text that friend. Prioritize time in nature. Book that vacation. Buy yourself that new plant. (Better yet, plant a garden!)

Because there’s scientific evidence that prioritizing your own happiness has resounding positive health effects — from preventing high blood pressure to supporting even more healthy behaviors, like sleeping and eating better.

Remember: You get to decide for yourself

The ripple effects of practicing self-compassion and mindfulness are deep and wide, and we can’t possibly get into all of them here.

But one particularly wonderful result of the self-care practices above? Developing an intuitive understanding of what’s right for you — from the way you dress and do your makeup to various over-the counter cosmetic products, treatments or interventions that interest you.

Your options exist on a spectrum, not a switch. You don’t have to throw yourself into treatments that don’t feel right for you… and you also don’t have to allow the pressure to “age naturally” to change the decisions you make for yourself.

Where do you fall on the spectrum below?

  • Maybe you’re dedicated to your daily skincare routine, but practicing face yoga feels like a bit too much effort.
  • Maybe you love more intensive skin treatments like IPL or laser therapy, but “No needles” is a hard line for you.
  • Maybe your frown lines (or “11s”) bother you, so you choose to get neurotoxin injections to create a more relaxed look.
  • Maybe you’re not a fan of makeup, preferring to let your natural glow steal the show. (OR maybe applying a full face, from foundation to fluffy, filled-in brows makes you feel your most fabulous.)
  • Or maybe you unabashedly love it all: Your daily serums and moisturizers, your monthly facials, your tox, your fillers and your full-to-bursting makeup bag!

No matter where the line is for you, YOU get to draw it. That’s what aging your way is all about.